Tag Archives: desires

In a Mirror World

We all have this ideal of how we want to look, what we want our lives to be like, how we want to live etc.  I know that I definitely have this narrow field of how I want(ed) everything to look.  However, the fact of the situation is that nothing could be farther from what I desire.  My current place in life isn’t even remotely close to what I had envisioned at 29.

The first step to fixing a problem is realizing there is one.

I know there is a problem, I know that I have problems that need fixing.  Like I stated a couple weeks ago, I don’t even know where to begin.  Recently, it feels like I am stuck in the hallway of life, surrounded by doors and none of them unlocked.  I have felt like I have supported many in pushing forward and finding their unlocked doors of destiny and yet I cannot seem to find mine. My list of problems is broad but my understanding of how to begin fixing them is limited.

I am writing this from a place of honesty.  Writing this from a place of confusion in my life.  As we look at the mirror of our lives and view the reflection staring back at us, we cannot compare it to others.  Something I still do frequently.  I wish I had/was/could ________ (insert desire here).  We begin to formulate this list of things we find wrong in our lives and forget the list of blessings.  We formulate this list of things we wish we had, could do, were etc and get so blindsided by these things that we prevent ourselves from looking at the positive circumstances around us.

This is a place I have backed myself into, I have cornered myself with what I don’t have and zeroed in on those things and the good around me has become a blur.

Instead of trying to put everything back together at once, I need to take a single piece, figure out where it belongs and go from there.  Take each piece at a time and examine them before moving on to the next piece.  I need to take each area of my life, take that piece,look at it from all angles and find out how to put it back into its place.  And I need to be okay with finding pieces that no longer belong and throwing them out.  It is going to be a painful process where I am going to have to remove shards that have embedded themselves into my flesh.  However, I have to remember that it is all about slow slicing success.  No matter how painful it is going to be.

Hack it up into chunks

I may also need to take pieces and cut them up into separate chunks so that they will fit better as part of the whole.  If I want to lose over 100 pounds over the next year, I need to cut up the weight loss into smaller parts and focus on meeting the smaller goals and quit focusing on the end game.  If I want to move out, make more money, lose weight, get out of debt etc then I need to take the pieces one by one and refit them into the whole picture I have for my life. I need to quit focusing on the shattered image I see of myself and my life in the mirror and change my perspective to see the individual pieces that need fixing.

It is going to suck, it is going to hurt. I have to endure.  I need to endure.  I cannot see the completed picture, I can only see what is in front of my right now and I need to attack a section at a time and quit worrying about the whole image.  It will come together in time, I need to be patient with my future and more importantly with myself.  All things will work out for good in the end.

Let me know what parts of your life you want/need to fix.  Would love comments, thoughts, suggestions.  Thanks folks!



Life is like…Instant Oatmeal?

Actually life isn’t at all like instant oatmeal.  Although we all wish it was, sadly this is not even remotely the case.  In actuality, life is like a slow cooking pot roast.  As much as we desire to see instant results from eating right for a week, working out for an hour etc it just isn’t going to happen.  It takes dedication and hard work to achieve the results we desire in any area of our lives.

What is change really like?

In reality, it is all about slow slicing success.  In his sermon of the same name, Pastor Levi Lusko discusses slow slicing success in regards to being a creature of habit or changing our habits. He discusses how the chinese used slicing or Lingchi to slowly cut a person to death. (Click the link to read the description of true Chinese Lingchi, rather gruesome.)  However, Pastor Lusko makes a great point, we need to use slow slicing success in our lives to make lasting and effective change.  We cannot expect to hack off large chunks and expect to see lasting change; it has to be done in slow slices, a bit at a time.

To really see change, this poster makes a great point.

day mo 77 Daily motivation (25 photos)

In our American culture of quick service, instant meals, fast food, express lanes, drive thru service etc we have come to expect the same of change in our lives.  We have become an impatient and inconsiderate society, wanting everything now and not have to wait.  With almost everything, we “Want it now!” (<- check out the video! a classic) And we don’t want to work for it.

“She was a bad egg.”

Just as Mr. Wonka states after Veruca falls down the chute. That is what becomes of us as we desire the reward without the effort.  We become bad eggs, selfish, self-seeking and impatient.  And I have to remind myself quite often that it is all about slow slicing success; if I want to see the change I have to stick it out, see it through and wait the weeks it will take to get to where I want to be. I cannot expect to “want it now.”

Slow cooking pot roast

And that is something that is so difficult, I want immediate results. I want to see the calories and inches just fall off after eating a healthy meal, or working out for an hour.  Unfortunately, life isn’t instant oatmeal.  Unfortunately, life is like a slow cooking pot roast, it has to sit and cook for ours in a broth to achieve culinary perfection.  And just like instant oatmeal, you may enjoy the quick results, but they aren’t lasting; instant oatmeal isn’t filling for a long time.  Pot roast is a filling and lasting meal, you are full for hours afterwards.

We need the same results from our eating, exercise, and weight loss habits.  Powders, supplements, and shakes are great as instant oatmeal; however you need to have real and lasting change.  That is why I am big on eating right without all the supplements, powders, shakes etc.  That is the direction I am taking in my life, finding natural and lasting options instead of using meal replacement shakes and all of the other “healthy” weight loss alternatives.  This options require you to continue their use after you reach your goal to maintain that achievement.  Why would I want to do that?  I would much rather achieve my goal through natural means and be able to easily maintain through continual eating right and exercising than continuing the use of shakes, supplements, and powders.

What point are you trying to make?

Good question. Let me sum up everything I am saying.  As much as we desire it, life is not like Instant Oatmeal.  Life is like a slow cooking pot roast.  It takes weeks of effort and dedication to reach our goals for change, weight loss, or any desire we may have.  We cannot expect everything to get better over night.  Look up success stories of people achieving their goals, none of them were overnight sensations.  For some, it took years, even decades to reach their lifelong dreams.  So I tell you this today, continue the effort and push forward.  It is all about the slow slicing success.  Take off little chunks at a time, little slices here and there and eventually you will reach that highly sought after achievement.

Let me know what slow slices you are currently making.

Pot Roast (also a recipe)

Go go Gadget go!

The man of many talents, Inspector Gadget! (That brings back childhood memories)

Inspector Gadget was a police inspector who was stuffed with gadgets and every kind of thing to help him succeed in his profession.  Anything he needed, he had within himself to accomplish his mission.  Huh! Let me say that again!  Anything he needed, he had within himself to accomplish his mission.  However, if he wasn’t first equipped than he wouldn’t have that gadget and would ultimately fail.

How do I become like Inspector Gadget?

Great question!  We need to fill our toolboxes first and foremost.  We need to get equipped, trained, and informed to become like Inspector Gadget.  An empty toolbox won’t help change a tire, repair a sink or hang those pictures on the wall.  In the same way an empty skill toolbox won’t help secure that job, teach a class or write a song.  Life is full of ample opportunities to learn, grow, and stretch ourselves; this could be in a 3-day leadership intensive, a class on revision and editing, a music teacher for acoustic guitar, or a personal trainer.

In order for us to do the things in life we desire, we need to become prepared.  

You don’t plan on climbing Mount Everest without first going through rigorous training and purchasing the proper equipment that will gear you for success.  You don’t step up into a championship fighting match without going through months or even years of training and discipline (unless you are Tim Ferriss, that is another story).

Through the dozens of books I have read on self-improvement and growth, it all boils down to skill.  Our toolbox isn’t full of only things we have learned or are skilled at, it also has a drawer for who we know.  This drawer is full of people who know how to do what we can’t, they are the socket wrenches of our toolbox. These are the electricians, plumbers, editors, graphic designers, painters, and more; they are the ones that we employ when we don’t have the skill or talent and have no interest in acquiring that information.  They have the necessary training and skill to accomplish those tasks we stare at blankly.

However, we cannot unlock this drawer without connecting and/or asking.  We cannot be afraid to ask for help in places where we know we will be over our heads or we have no clue how to proceed.  Inspector Gadget didn’t automatically know how to use everything he was equipped with, without first asking about its use.  In the same way, in order to grow our skills or tap into those who have the skill, we need to ask.  Growth comes from those things we are uncomfortable with and pushing ourselves to accomplish them. As you grow and learn, that toolbox will become bigger and more useful.  In the beginning though, it will be a simple sewing kit, only capable of completely a few tasks.

What next?

There is even a website called Toolbox.com that does the very thing I have been discussing!  How awesome is that?!  Where do you go to fill your toolbox?  Start with Home Depot or Lowe’s, even Ace Hardware would work.  Oh you mean your skill toolbox!

  • Poll your friends on Facebook
  • Search for knowledgeable professionals on Social Media (Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn etc)
  • Use a group site like Meetup.com
  • Ask your parents (Shocker!)
  • Search your local library catalog
  • Go to a bookstore and search their database
  • Do a google search (search with a careful eye, scrutinize your search results for the reputable sites. Don’t trust everything you read)
  • Browse the magazine section at Barnes and Noble (there is practically a magazine out there for every topic)
  • Search blog sites for people who write about the skill you are looking to learn (WordPress, blogger etc)

This is a pretty simple list to get started.  Trust me when I say that I believe in you to find the people or resources necessary to fill up and grow your skill toolbox, to succeed in every area of your life and to pursue your dreams, passions, and desires.

Go out and fill your toolbox today Nerds and Nerdettes!  Would love to hear what skills or talents you are looking to grow and expand!


The Bigger Picture

3 Weeks! What has happened in the past three weeks?  A lot that is for sure.  I lost my job a week and a half ago, went from affordable income to zero, lost 5 lbs in weight, a friend is moving back to NY and I began to question my direction in life again.  One thing that is still a constant in my life is no dateable prospects, there is some good news!

Don’t be alarmed, I am not questioning my decision and direction with AMTC, I am confident and firm in that direction.  I know that the situation of how I became fired is shrouded in mystery and unexplained with reasons that I may never receive.  However, one thing I do know is that I shall not give up on the dream and desires upon my heart.  Speaking of which I recently updated my Epic Quest of Epic-ness!  Check it out, I am on my way to Level 4 in life! YAY!

Anywho, I am sitting at Starbucks attempting to find jobs and I cannot seem to focus on the elusive search.   So I sit and stare out of the windows and watch the world stroll on by, aka people watching.  You can thank my Grandmother and Mother for my adept roll at people watching and being super observant.  I am thinking about life, the books I recently read, my current track in life and what I am going to write about.  Then it hits me, an image comes to my mind.

Not exactly this specific image, but you get the point.

Building a Puzzle!  Different thoughts and revelation came fumbling together.  My life has been full of attempts, trials, success and a great pile of failures. (Irrelevant note: type in pile of failures under google images and you get failed architecture and collapsed buildings.)

Our lives are like building a puzzle, the first opening of that box and we look at all those little interconnecting pieces and go “Good Lord how am I going to put this all together?”  We dump the box out and at least for me, you begin looking for the edge pieces to start forming the base work of the puzzle.  During this process of sorting through hundreds, if not thousands of pieces, you find like tiles, stick them together and put them off to the side.

Soon enough you have most of the frame of the puzzle assembled and an assortment of meaningless united tiles that have a piece of the complete image with no clue how it fits into the jigsaw.  Slowly but surely and bit by bit you begin to amass the jigsaw puzzle together like the image on the box and you can see what it is suppose to resemble.

How does this fit into my life?

Brilliant question.  It came to me like this; the base work of the puzzle is us, who we are, our identity, hopes, dreams, passions and desires.  Contained within this wall, that is a interconnected work of atoms (the jigsaw frame), you find an image that must be put together (the rest of the loose pieces). During our lives we try things, attempt new ideas, projects, business possibilities etc.  We have successes and failures, wisdom and knowledge to apply to future attempts.

Those are the pieces that we complete in little groups scattered outside the puzzle groundwork.  Piece by piece we find the bits that connect to the architecture of our dreams and carefully put the image together.  Then revelation hits and we find where a collection of 5-6 pieces fits into the bigger picture and another and another.  All those successes and failures have practical application for our future and in ascertaining our dreams.  Sooner or later we step back and see that that puzzle, that in the beginning was a myriad of pieces and edges, has now come together to form a finished and clear image.

This is a huge revelation for me because I was thinking about where am I going to go next, what am I going to do?  Now I need to sort through those groupings dispersed around my puzzle and find where they fit into the frame.  I have dozens of combinations laying on the outside, i need to begin putting them together and see what skills and wisdom I have learned from my 28 years of experience and apply myself towards my dreams.

I encourage you today Nerds and Nerdettes, don’t become discouraged at your failures, attempts and lack of direction.  Take a step back and begin to analyze where all those clusters of pieces belong and then decide which direction to take from there.  There are times that we stare at a certain piece for so long and our vision gets hazy because we forget that there are oodles of other pieces to put together.  If one doesn’t fit, put the piece down and move on, there will come a time, down the road, that that piece will come back into place and find it’s place perfectly.

I would love to hear your comments, suggestions etc.  Go out and assemble your jigsaw puzzle today nerds!

The Weakest Link

Real quick before you continue, take 5 minutes and read this article by Darren Hardy.  It is a quick read but well worth the time.

I never really have attacked my weaknesses, the things I suck at I usually just leave them alone and move onto something else.   I mean who honestly wants to spend time getting better at the things that are our weaknesses, wouldn’t it be better to just try and forget about them and continue to do the things we are good at? Take a minute (or two) and think about your weaknesses, what things in your life are your Achilles heel?

A few of mine:
Fear of Confrontation
Afraid to talk to people outside of work. aka working my business
Lack of Confidence.  Here is a great article from NerdFitness on the topic
Fear of Rejection
Foregoing the Unhealthy things
Sticking to my Goals

Those are just a few that come to mind, most of them are mental and emotional issues.  Last year we took 8 youth to camp in Texas and after we came back i made the decision to stop drinking soda/pop, it has been 10 months and I haven’t had any soda (expect for when we played suicide pong for youth group one night).  But there are certain things in my life that I have the hardest time to conquer/overcome.

Although victory isn’t just overnight, some of the greatest military campaigns lasted years and they didn’t have immediate triumph. They had to continue to work and push against the opposition in order to have their dreams come true.  Success isn’t given, sure you have the rare percentage that seem to accumulate success and have a life of privilege and esteem.  In reality though, the majority of people have to work hard to achieve their goals, dreams, passions and desires.  To attain victory and success over our weaknesses and in every area of our lives we cannot remain complacent or stay in a mediocre mindset.  We have to attack those weaknesses with diligence to see that Berlin Wall come tumbling down.

We need to work at those weaknesses, after all the Grand Canyon wasn’t formed overnight  (or was it?).  Attack those problem areas bit by bit and over time we will see a difference and begin to see change.  Then soon enough those problems will be the past and we can attack the next weakness on our list.  If we never chip away at those weaknesses then there are some things in our lives that we will never accomplish. This is the truth!  You want to make it on the Varsity team, then you need to ask those on the team what they did to get there and begin to attack those things that you lack to get you on the team.  Suck at remembering tasks, then find a few different memorization techniques to improve your memory etc.

We have the ability and capacity within in each of us to become the people we see ourselves being.  As any warrior will tell you, that in order to get across the battlefield, you are going to have to take out the enemy and hack and slash your way through the opposition.  That is the way war happens and the way it is in our everyday lives.  There are some things that will be easy to attack and defeat, others may take months or years.  However, with diligence, patience and perseverance you will have the reward of Victory.  And how sweet that day will be when you can look at that weakness and laugh, because you know that you have triumphed over it and it isn’t holding you back any longer.  Begin today to attack at least one weakness and start to gain back or gain ground over that and push towards the finish line!

Go and Feel The Burn today Nerds 🙂

Epic Quest of Epic-ness

Again another post from Nerd Fitness that I am going to apply to my own life.

Steve Kamb has turned his life into a videogame and is working to Level Up His Life (his epic quest list is in the NF link above ^).

I posted my loose epic quest list on my facebook. However, I am going to shape it and refine it below and take a page from Steve’s RPG and turn my life into one!

I AM LEVEL 3 (40% to level 4)
Thought I would be higher level but hey now is the time to get working on leveling up my life and crush the enemies before me and work hard towards those higher levels and bigger creatures and more experience!

Level Three:
Meet Lindsey Stirling (October 2012)
Take A Road Trip (anywhere) (completed Sept 2012)
Become Proficient in Archery (completed April 2014)

Level Two:
Attend a Movie Premiere Locally (completed Feb 2009) Repo:Genetic Rock Opera
Have my picture taken with a celebrity (completed Feb 2009) Terrence Zdunich
Have my picture appear in an local blog (completed Apr 2010)
Be Best Man in a Wedding (double exp for 2x 2010 & 2012)

Level One:
Participate in a Talent Competition (completed July 2001) IMTA
Visit Norway, Sweden, Finland and Denmark (completed July 2000)
Audition for a Syndicated Television Program (completed July 1998) Even Stevens
Gamble in the Bahamas (completed 2007)
Have friends extra in a movie (completed Jan 2009) The movie Ink

The rest of my list, yet to be accomplished:
Meet Sarah Brightman
Meet Celtic Woman (specifically Chloe Agnew)
Return to Sweden for a Time
Finish Main Project, Book One by Dec 31st 2014
Finish Book Two by Dec 31st 2015
Finish Book Three by Dec 31st 2016
Finish Book Four by Dec 31st 2017
Publish the Series in 2018
Be Married by 30 (2016)
Move out of State
Spend a Month in Ireland
Stay at a Castle in Ireland
Spend a Month in England, Scotland and Wales
Go to the DW experience in Cardiff, Wales
Spend time in Germany
Visit Italy, Greece and France
Crush Grapes with my feet at an Italian Vineyard in Italy
Be a Speaker at a Nationally known Christian Conference
Goal Weight by December 2014 (99 lbs to lose)
Learn to play the Guitar
Write a Worship Song
Get completely out from under my parents
Purchase a New Car Myself
Pay off all student loan debt
Publish The Traverse Book
Publish a Christian Allegory
Be on Sid Roth’s show
Be a guest speaker at a TED or TEDx Event
Travel the Nation visiting my list of churches to see
Train in Krav Maga
Spend a year in the Christian Conference Circuit
Take the Middle Earth Tour
Scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef
Walk the Path of Jesus in Israel
Follow the Path of Paul Tour
Visit Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse and Devil’s Thumb
Have One Million in the Bank (debt free)
Design and build my dream home
FIt into a size 32/34 pant and a Medium Shirt (comfortably)
Completely transform my wardrobe
Successfully complete a pull up
Attend a Hollywood Premiere
Be invited to the White House
Learn from Entrepreneur Dani Johnson
Look Good Naked
Updated 7/21
Attend First Steps to Success seminar
Attend Creating a Dynasty seminar
Play Jesus in Godspell
Play Edna Turnblad in Hairspray
Play Cowardly Lion in Wizard of OZ
Play Eric the Phantom in Phantom of the Opera or Love Never Dies
Go Backpacking
Updated 5/7/14
Have a recurring  role in a TV series
Graduate from AMTC
Gain Agent representation

If there is anything you think I have forgotten or should add, let me know 🙂 and of course my list will grow and change as each year comes and goes!

Go out and Feel the Burn today Nerds 🙂