Sandworms! Two movies come to mind when I think of Sandworms, the hilarious and timeless Beetlejuice and the classic Sci-fi Dune. (1984 and 2003) Mighty creatures bent on devouring life. There are times in our lives when we are running from or being swallowed by Sandworms. These worms are emotions, from apathy and hopelessness (Sarlacc), to doubt and apprehension (Graboid), to fear and sorrow (Beetlejuice worm), to the big behemoth of depression and anger (Shai-Hulud). There are plenty of different size Sandworms in between that represent emotions not listed.
Sometimes there is no running from these creatures of negativity, there is only preparation and facing them head on. If we only doubt their existence then at some point their lingering shadow will overtake us and swallow us whole. Of course there are days that we want to give up and let life curb stomp us into oblivion, however, we cannot.
Currently I am wrestling in the jaws of something in between a Sarlacc and a Graboid. My belief and hope in promises is in crisis. We all have those days! It is all part of being a human with a soul (mind, will and emotions), we have good days and bad days. If only, in the midst of it all, we could have a mostly steady outlook like Augustus Waters in The Fault In Our Stars “I’m on a roller coaster that only goes up.” Even in the midst of all the trouble and hardship he was experiencing in his life, he still viewed himself on a roller coaster going up. I know he is a fictional character, however, we would be mindful to have an outlook like him.
I spent a portion of my day lamenting over my current situation, realizing I was allowing myself to be eaten by a Sandworm. However, I need to dust myself off, kick the Sandworm in the jowls and climb out. Drop down to solid ground, take scope of my surroundings and trek forward. I need to analyze the puzzle pieces on the outside and figure out where to apply myself. How to push forward and where to place my feet to gain ground and not lose ground. Alas, I look at it all and I become overwhelmed at my fears, doubts, worries, insecurities etc. There are days that it is hard to shake off the shadow of a Sandworm and accurately assess my situation and calmly sift through the pieces to find my direction.
It is difficult when we each have numerous passions, desires, dreams, and hopes and I know that I tell everyone to follow their dreams and pursue them with all their heart and whatever it is they will be happy. They will be happy because they are doing something they love. I should take my own advice, but where do I begin? What direction do I start in and pursue with all my heart? I picked acting back up because it is my passion, however, I feel that I cannot continue on that route without money.
As with everything I am passionate about, this bloody world revolves around the possession of a little green bill and without it you are banished to the netherworld of the unemployed and homeless. It causes panic to rise within when I come to this stage of realizing what I need and then what I don’t have and not knowing how to trek from Point A to Point B.
It is a vicious cycle with those blasted Sandworms, if we are not careful we will become worm fodder and lost to the world in the vacuum of emotions and no good to anyone; let alone ourselves.
The moral of the story amidst this trail of thought?
Take a breath. Step back from the worry, fear, and the cliff’s edge of emotional suicide and assess your situation. What step do I need to take first? Who can I talk too? etc Find those that you can bounce ideas off of and get their wisdom and opinion. Read books on changing your career or doing what you love. Do something that puts you into position to move forward and not become stagnant in a pool of festering negative emotions. It doesn’t do anyone good for you to wallow in pity and remorse, let alone yourself. Kick off the dust and shake your head a few times and go walk in the sunshine, find something that clears your head so you can think clearly and begin the process of moving forward again.
Go out and be confident today Nerds and Nerdettes, don’t let the Sandworms of life’s emotions swallow you whole. Would love to hear your comments or feedback!